Josh's Guide To Going Back To School-Pt. 1

For those of you who pay attention, you've probably noticed I haven't written anything in over a month. I've been busy, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that I just got GTA4 for xbox (well maybe). No, I've been productive. I'm going back to school. Shock and surprise, I know. In light of this, I'd like to share with you all some of the knowledge I've picked up in my absence.
"But you haven't actually started, and are just making this up as you go. What do you know?"
It's the same answer I give my girlfriend, "Trust me. I know what I'm doing. I'm a man."

Knowledge = Chesthair!

So before we get into the how of getting back into the world of binge drinking and acadamia, let's talk about the why. Everyone's reasons for going back to school are going to be different. For some it's an excuse to impress 18 year old girls with the fact that you can legally buy beer. For others its an escape from a dead end job while you still have a shred of your soul. For Adam Sandler going back to school was an way to raise money for acting lessons. Yes, we're looking at you Billy Madison.  



I almost stabbed myself in the eye after seeing this movie just to see if I was still capable of feeling.

I'm in the middle group. After repeated attempts at burning down cubicle (damn that flame retardant carpet), I decided it'd be easier and less of an OSHA violation to get myself an education. My office's saftey coordinator is very excited that I'll finally be someone elses potential fire hazard.

For some odd reason, I think I've got what it takes to be a high school social studies teacher. Yes, that odd reason may be psychosis, but that's alright with me. In all seriousness though, I would really love to be an educator. I had some great teachers growing up. I'd like to thank them. I would also like them to retire (please, Mrs. Yantes I know I was your favorite), beacuse this is KS, I'll need a job in about 3 years, and our state government isn't big on spending money on frivilous things like education and hiring more teachers. In fact they're currently working on turning fire departments into a fee for service organization.



"Lets see. That'll be $2000 for the house call, $500 for the fuel surcharge, oh and $250 for the pet rescue fee. You can't pay? Jimmy, throw the Fido back. They're poor."



So that's the why of my going back to school. Stay tuned for part 2 when I get to the nuts and bolts of getting into school. 

Peace